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Days 5-8

Day 5 (Thursday):
Woo hoo! Half way thereJ I wish I could say this has been easy as pie, but then there I am again, thinking about pie. I will need to go on a no fruit diet after this cleanse because I’m so tired of fruit. I keep telling myself it’s what’s good for my body.

Day 6 (Friday):
I didn’t write much yesterday because I had a lot going on (more to come on that in a future post), but I did almost crack last night. I was crabby and hungry and I came home to David making a pizza.  The last thing I wanted was fish and veggies, but I sucked it up and made some tilapia- not the greatest thing in the world, so I think I’ll stick with cod- it was delicious the last two nights I made it. Today and the rest of the weekend are going to be tough. Weekends are tough anyways, what with all the opportunities to drink and eat food, bad food, late at night.

Why is it that I can’t go a day without getting a headache? This is getting old. I’m crabby, so you’ll have to excuse the attitude.  I’m drinking plenty of water. I’m following all the instructions. UGH!! Is it Wednesday yet?  It’s very hard to focus at work when I feel this way.  What happened to the drive, the desire I had just a few short days ago that got me here, got me to day 6? I’m feeling really weak inside, and every ounce of me wants to pull open my bottom cabinet drawer that stashes the mini candy bars my workplace hands out on people’s anniversaries or birthdays and just devour 10 of those precious mini morsels.  A co worker brought in ice cream cups in three flavors for everyone, and I went to the fridge and stared at them for a minute, contemplating taking a vanilla one because vanilla is not that bad for you, right? I snapped out of it and grabbed my dry strawberries and am eating those insteadL I said it before, I’ll say it again, I’m weak. It’s a miracle I’ve even come this far.  I’ll be astonished if I make it through tomorrow. I have to report of my food diary though, so it’s going to be pretty embarrassing if I have to post to all of you (or maybe there’s only one or two who actually read this) that I failed and devoured a whole chocolate cake or stole all of my daughter’s candy at the parade I’m taking her to tomorrow. We will just have to wait and see.  Maybe I should focus on the money I spent to do this diet. I have enjoyed stepping on the scale and seeing the number decline each time.  I also was able to squeeze (heavy on the term squeeze) into a pair of jeans today that I haven’t worn since I was pregnant.  I need to keep these positive thoughts in my head when I’m feeling my weakest.  For any of you reading this, please send good thoughts my way. I need all the help I can get.

Day 7 & 8 (Saturday and Sunday):
Dare I say it? I cheated. God, that hurts to say because I feel like such a letdown, but it feels good knowing I’m being honest, too.  I can honestly say I stayed faithful through this whole cleanse until the weekend. We went out for Irish Fest in downtown Waterloo Saturday evening and I ate a salad for supper and I didn’t drink any alcohol. It was a long night, and I didn’t take my vitamins that night because I was so tired I just went to bed. The mornings (on weekends) are tough because I’m just not in my regular routine. I wish dieting could be a 5 day a week thing, not 7 days.  Sunday I was able to put on a pair of shorts that I couldn't even button a week ago! We went to a lady's home in Denver to decide on wedding cake/cupcakes for David and my reception in October.  I tried some wedding cake because the cake lady gave us a whole mini cake to take home and I kept cutting slivers of it off and by the time I was done, I’d say I ate close to what would be considered an entire piece of cake.  Remember, I said I'm weak.  It was soo delicious, but at the same time, the guilt of knowing I ruined the cleanse just about made me sick.  I went to Hyvee that night and bought every flavor of rice cake they had as well as some natural peanut butter. Melissa said I can have those things, so I’m not asking any questions, and instead am going to enjoy the added items to my list of foods.  Sorry, I don’t have much to write on the weekend. I didn’t take the time to input this info this weekend, and am doing it Monday morning instead, so it’s a little short.

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